Now looking at it, while I love those pictures. And I am beyond proud of the progress hubby has made, I really think it makes it look like everything is really ok.
And everything is NOT ok.
The man I said goodbye to 5months ago is not the man that came back. While I am thankful for the glimpses of him that I get, there is no question that the person that left me is not who returned.
I am sad that out daughter will never know the person that I chose to raise a family with.
I am more sad that our son spent this Christmas visit asking me why daddy is acting this way and when he will be all better. I have no answer for him. The truth is we do not know how much better he will get.
So although there is much to be thankful for, and there has been so much healing that has taken place in the last few months, it is obvious that our lives have changed forever, our family has changed forever. And it will be a long while before everything is ok again.
HI, I'm a 2d Tank wife and have been following your post. I can not even begin to imagine the hardships and obstacles your family is now facing and think and pray for you all often. I'm not sure if anyone gave you these books or not, but there are two books by a friend of our Shannon Maxwell whose husband Tim Maxwell was a Marine who suffered a TBI and they had to overcome many of the same challenge. She wrote "Our Daddy is Invincible" and "Big Boss Brain" about their story and they do sell them at the main PX. She would be an excellent resource for you to reach out to as well for your own personal support, they run a Semper Max program now that Tim is out and just are genuinely good people looking to help and make a difference.
ReplyDeleteMegan,
DeleteThank you! We have my daddy is invicible, and it is a favorite in our house! My kids like to read it daily. Could you send me an email? I would love to get connected.
Thanks so much!
You humble me, ma'am. And I am in awe of you....
ReplyDeleteMy husband was never the same either, it took about 2 years to finally talk about everything that had happen and came out with everything that was bothering him. To addiction, nightmares, headaches, seeing dead people, being threatened by the dead while still awake and driving, the anger that he had towards our children and I, the cruel jokes, the pain I couldn't help, and well just switching our whole life around, sucked but I can say this it takes a truly amazing patient woman to stay. When day in and day out you are on the backburner and you have no idea when your life is going to start agian. People always asking "So what are your plans?" Umm no offense to these people but we have no freaking clue! When your hubby is wounded you dont know whats going to happen in a month or the next week. Being a spouse for almost 9 years and having one child know her Dad with out injuries and the other born into the injuries is hard. My oldest always asked the unknown question "when will dad be able to take me to the park again? or why is dad so mean now? I wish he never deployed because I liked him better the old way." It breaks our hearts as mothers because there really is no answer for them. I hope everything gets better and his "old self" shines through soon. Again you know I am always still here if you ever need to vent. I love to listen and am a very bored wounded warrior spouse now because hubby is waiting on the med board now!
ReplyDeleteHi Meara, I happen to come across your blog because I am searching for a blog designer. I did not know I would stumble upon your story. I have read through your blog, and I am so deeply sorry that this has happened to your family. Words can not express how thankful I am to your husband for protecting our freedom, and I wish there was something someone could do or say to bring back the husband you had before he was deployed. I will pray for you and your family and I hope that he will find himself again.
ReplyDelete